when it seems darkness prevails...

As I come to the end of my second year of service overseas I am struck by the way the Lord has worked in my life and how he has grown me in such a short period of time. My years leading up until now have certainly been riddled with lessons and purifying trials, but these past few years have been more of a “pressure cooker” experience of lessons. First, in dealing with all of the emotions, struggles and trials of leaving everything I’ve ever know and felt confident doing, as well as the feeling of knowing who I am, and exchanging all of that for a feeling of helplessness, dependence and frustration in not being able to accomplish tasks that even a child in my new culture can do; coming through all of that and finding a place again where I feel normal, where I feel like me again. Then, in this time, also coming to a place where I figure out how to be who I am within this new culture and context. Finally, after all of this, I have to deal with the purifying fire that God has for me to walk through so that He can make me more like Himself. This is where I am finding myself chafing the most.

I feel like I could come through the other challenges still coasting on my own strength. Now, having to walk through the fire I have had to shed my own abilities, my strengths, my education, and my confidence for whole dependence upon God and His plan. This is an area where, although I am usually eager to have God grow and teach me, I am finding myself really feeling the rub of discomfort. God has been assuring me through various means of His control and work in these areas, yet I keep looking back within myself to try and find answers. I analyze and struggle; agonize and hurt; finally I come to a place where I feel like I hit a wall, over and over again. Then I finally let go, and I find that it is only at this juncture that I can finally feel the Holy Spirit begin to lift my burden. It is here where I realize that I am playing the role of Peter, whom Jesus has asked to step out into the water. He is urging me to look at Him and Him only. In all of this I have moments where I lock eyes with Him and feel His strength and assurance, but then I turn my eyes to the waves and the darkness around me and feel myself start to sink. I allow the hopelessness of what I see with my fleshly eyes to dominate my emotions and thoughts and I lose sight of why God has me in this place. Although doubt and faithlessness seem to permeate my life right now, I still hear the Lord’s consistent, loving, accepting voice calling to me, pleading for me to look only at Him and to trust in Him. His voice reminds me that He is in control and is the Healer and continues to do the miraculous today, just as He did in Peter’s time.

The waves in my life right now may be big, and dark and seem insurmountable, but that is exactly where God is shown powerful and more than able. There is no hopelessness in God who is able to do all things for His glory. We trust in the one true God who is able to accomplish far more than we could ever hope or dream. This is the God I serve and in whom I put my trust and hope. He will never let me down. And through putting my hope and trust in Him, I can find the strength to love others and to serve them even when I receive nothing in return. This is why I am here and this is what God wants to teach me through these trials. God is good above all now and forever. And it is in this place where I can actually thank God and praise Him for what is going on in my life. It is amazing how God can make anything beautiful, no matter how bleak it might look. In trusting in Him, I can find rest…

A moment in time...

I am currently experiencing a rare moment in the life of a young mother...it is one of those few precious moments when both of my kids are sleeping and I'm not crashing myself! So, I will try to use this time productively and give you a quick update on our life.

I know many would think we were crazy for the amount of things we have taken on over these past couple months, but God is giving us endurance and teaching us contentedness in all that He brings our way. My dad came out to visit for 10 days and we had a wonderful time with him, even getting to drive over to the capitol city of this region and visit with some friends. The spring time here is exceptionally beautiful, so we have also been enjoying lots of time in the mountains on picnics. Also, about two weeks ago we moved to a new house, so we have been working slowly, but steadily on getting our house set up and our family all settled in. Moves are always tough, but setting things up here in a new house really takes the cake! I'll make a long story short by saying that on top of all of the usual things you would expect to set up in a new place, Scott installed a bathtub and a shower! He is quite the handy man!

Zeke and Ethan are doing great. We have lots of energy in our house with Zeke running around! He plays 4 days a week with a friend that lives nearby and he is having to learn a lot about sharing and being kind..BIG lessons for a 2 year old! Ethan is just over 2 months now and we feel like we can see the light at the end of the tunnel with this newborn stage. He is such a sweet little guy and we really enjoy him, but newborns are so tiring! We're looking forward to finding some semblance of a routine once he is sleeping better.

Also, in about a month Scott and I will both be teaching classes as part of a preparatory course for a new university being established in our city. It will be a sort of partnership with our language center and another way to serve this community. I am excited to start teaching and meeting new people. This class will be different than our center classes since it is aimed at late high school aged people, so once again Scott and I will be getting to work with teenagers...a role that we have missed since moving here.

Well, that is all for now since I can hear Zeke starting to wake up! I will do my best to keep you posted as we have lots of exciting things happening over the coming months! Until next time...

Yes, we are alive!

February 14th was a special day for many. For most of you it was VERY special, obviously not because of love, but because it was the day of our last blog. And now you've been waiting all this time for us to update! Good news, today is your lucky day.

I think most of you get our monthly newsletter so you've heard the news and seen our pictures of our new son, Ethan! In case you didn't hear, he was born in Amman, Jordan, on Feb 23, and was 7lbs 5oz and 21" long (3.31 kg and 53cm for you metric nuts). The delivery was quite speedy and the nurses told Katie it was amazing he came with such little pain for her. Yeah right! I watched them put the contraction-o-meter on her and during the height of labor it was only registering 35 out of 100. Before she was taken to the delivery room, she was hitting 60. I think they might have not put it on properly the second time.

Praise God I was able to get all the paper necessary for Ethan's passport. In Jordan that meant getting the hospital birth certificate, then getting our marriage license and passports translated, then taking those papers to a gov't office for issuance of the Jordanian birth certificate. That had to be stamped by 3 offices, then translated to English, and the translation stamped. Then we filled out the U.S. Passport application and took all the papers to our embassy. After being in the middle east for nearly 2 years it was refreshing how easy the U.S. embassy is to deal with. Kudos to the State Department! We waited no less than 5 minutes to put in the paperwork. Everyone was amazed to see a 2 day old baby there! After week we were able to pick up his passport and "notice of birth abroad." Praise God without any extra cost we were able leave 5 days earlier than we had planned; we arrived back at home on March 9. Ethan and mom are doing great; Ethan's gaining weight and getting on a good routine.

We got settled in, and then starting the following Monday we had 3 days of team meetings, moderated by our good friend from Salem, OR. These were long, draining, but ultimately good, days. We came away with a stronger sense of direction and of our individual roles as 3 of the 4 couples finish studying language next month.

That Tuesday Katie's mom and aunt arrived for 10 days. We had a great time together despite our being exhausted! We saw the bazar, local museums, and enjoyed the beauty of God's creation. And they enjoyed seeing Ethan and Zeke too, I think.

They were here for the local new year celebration, which coincides with the spring equinox. The legend goes that an evil king once demanded that a child a day be sacrificed in homage to him, until a hero rose up and slew the evil king. Signal fires were lit on mountain tops, like in Lord of the Rings, to spread the good news. In memory of this event and the rise to prominence of this people group, bonfires are still lit on the local new year's eve.

The local new year's kicks off the picnicking season, which lasts until June when it becomes too hot and dusty to do so. Spring is beautiful and is a mix of nice temperatures, sunny days and plenty of rain too (it's raining for the second straight day as I write). With Katie's mom and aunt, some short-term teachers and a good local friend, we by chance found a beautiful spot with several beautiful waterfalls and an incredible view! We could easily see the mountains that form the border of our country.





Another key fixture of new year's is the stroll down the local main street. Many dress up in their traditional clothes (locals will find ANY excuse to wear them) and crowd the road that is closed to traffic for the special occasion.
Zeke was given a set of clothes by some good friends and proudly wore them with a new Dwight-Schrute-mustard-yellow shirt. If I do say so myself, we were pretty cute. A strange sensation was having men come up from behind and without warning grab the pishteyn, the 10 foot long sash that covers the seam between the baggy pants and jacket. Evidently it wasn't on straight and they felt compelled to fix it. Just another adjustment we've adjusted our adjustments to.






Thousands of people crowd the street, walking, dancing, watching the big bonfire, and at sundown launching fireworks. Unrelated to the new year's stuff, celebrating the local political party's electoral victory, people set off fireworks a few nights ago. They kind they were using made M80's look like popcorn popping. Our neighbors dishearteningly broke out their AK-47 and shot a few rounds "towards the mountains." Remember we live in a crowded neighborhood! I suppose it was inevitable that we'd eventually be able to tell the difference between pistol and automatic rifle shots.

Last week the team began registering students for the next round of classes at the LIFE Center. It looks to be a full semester with 6 class and pushing maybe 80 students. We're forming a small agreement with a new university to teach English. I'm impressed by the charter of U; rather than offer an English program so students can pass the TOEFL and perhaps immigrate, they strictly will not offer the test. Instead they will bring in professors from the States to teach in English so that students can get a quality education to serve their country without the lingering temptation to study (and then stay) abroad.



So there you go, now you know our crazy life from the last several weeks; Katie's mom and aunt have left and now we're gearing up for her dad's arrival next week. We will continue our last few weeks of formal language study and take up our new roles on May 1.

Biding Time...

We are coming up on the 3 week mark of our time in Jordan. This will complete about half of our time here so far. It has been a big transition for us, but a good one. Zeke has transitioned like a champ, but also has been taking advantage of special "out of our normal environment" priviledges, like climbing in bed with mom and dad every night at some point! Its always a challenge being out of your context and I think we have done a good job of planning out our days enough with the things we have to do in order to not get cabin fever.

We are also under 2 weeks in our wait to meet our new little guy. We have had 3 appointments with our doctor here and even had a chance to tour the hospital. Everything is looking good and on track for us. I am very ready to have the baby and would welcome the surprise at any time, day or night! Scott's mom will be coming out here to help us with Zeke in a week, so we are all looking forward to that. Zeke has been playing lots with all of the kids on this side of our team and having a blast. There are also great play areas for kids in the city so we have been frequenting those and allowing Zeke to blow off some steam.

So, overall we are doing well. Please continue to pray for us as we wait and also as we are away from home and there is alot happening in our absence. We have really enjoyed hearing from many recently and definitely covet your prayers over our family. Hopefully, the next time I write we will have an announcement for everyone...until then!

Ready.....Set...Go!

We are just days away from preparing for the journey that will change us from a family of three to a family of four. Our baby boy is due in under 5 weeks, so on Tuesday we will head out to Jordan where the baby will be delivered. We are leaving country for two primary reasons: 1) there is an embassy in Jordan that can prepare our baby's passport in about two weeks and 2) because the health care in Jordan is comparable to what is available in the States. We are both excited for the time we will spend in a new context as well as nervous for the changes ahead of us. Over the past few weeks we have been planning and preparing since packing for a 6-week trip is very different than a week long vacation. In between preparing we have continued to study this language and to try and find ways to keep Zeke busy.

Zeke is a very active little boy and some days can be a challenge trying to help him get out as much energy as possible. The winter here, so far, has been much warmer than expected, so we have been taking advantage of playing outside and checking out new parks. Also, several days a week Zeke has a little friend that comes over and plays for the morning and it has been so cute seeing how these guys interact more and more with each other since they are exactly the same age.
Zeke has been going through some new stages as he gets older and discovers more of his own will and how to exert it! One thing that hasn't changed is his taking advantage of every situation he can. Below is a picture of us at a local restaurant. Everything in front of him was gifted to him by the restaurant staff and other patrons. We cannot take this kid out without the people getting him all sugared up and full of hugs and kisses!

We know that Zeke doesn't fully grasp the idea that he will soon be a big brother. We also know it will be a be a big transition for him and that we all will have our lives changed by our new little addition. As we wait Zeke has been "testing" out his baby brother's things and making sure they are all in working order!
Please be thinking of us over this next month. I will do my best to try and blog some on our comings and goings, but my main focus will be on our family for this time. Feel free to contact us as we will be keeping up with our email and it is always wonderful hearing from everyone back home. So, here we go!

party like its 2009...

New years eve this year was more fun now that we knew a bit more of what to expect. We went to a party very similar to last years, but it was a tad more organized this time. Once again we brought a bunch of food to share with our group, got to connect with many of our friends from here, and danced the night away.

Both Scott and I were able to get in on the dancing this year since we had someone to watch Zeke at home. We even made it to midnight! It was an absolute blast with there being a huge dance floor and most everyone getting in on the fun for the whole evening! I had to take a few breathers so as not to put myself into early labor! It was definitely worth the pain though!

One thing I love about parties here is that they are great for all generations! Everyone from the time they can walk to the elderly gets down and has a great time. These girls in the picture above even set off a spray can of fake snow, but no one scolded them, they just danced right on through the mess and enjoyed it! Also, even if you can't keep a beat no one gives you a hard time about it, they just keep dragging you back into the throng of people and giving you another chance to try!

At midnight they dj played a fun version of happy birthday (not sure what inspired it!) and afterwards we all gathered in the center of the dance floor and counted down into 2010! There was a huge cake and lots of sparklers. We didn't make it much past that since we were completely exhausted, but I would have to say this was the best party we've been to yet! These times are great opportunities for relationship building and just doing life with each other...plus, what memories we make! Happy New Year!!!

Our Little Rascal...

These past couple of months Zeke has become more and more interested in doing the things that we do. As it often goes with little boys, he is especially interested in what his Daddy is doing. Through his efforts to "help" he has learned the names of many different tools and even has a basic understanding of their use. Scott can ask him to go get the hammer and he is able to bring it right to him! However, there is a downside to all this selflessness: with learning comes creativity...and creativity in a two year old can equal trouble!

Recently we have had a number of things break down in our house so Zeke has had ample opportunities to play with Scott's tools. Many times we are able to offer him a little job where he feels like he is a part of the action, but isn't causing any damage. Also, this Christmas we were able to give him some of his own play toys, so can "fix" things around the house to his heart's content. All of this is part of the fun of having a toddler. They are very curious and wanting to experience everything themselves...the real trouble comes when they aren't being supervised...

Last night we had put Zeke to bed and presumed that he had fallen fast asleep because we didn't here any noises coming from his room. As is our tradition, just before Scott and I settled down for the night we went in to check on him and make sure he was not hanging half off the bed or without his blankets or something. However, instead of seeing one of these normal sights of Zeke sleep we saw quite a different scene before us...a complete path of little boy destruction! It was especially easy to spot because he had turned a small light on in his room so we could see everything!

We first saw evidence that he had taken his toys back out because we had put everything away before putting him down. As we got further into the room we saw that there was more to this story. He had thrown his pillows off the bed and onto the floor and had nicely displayed the evidence of his adventure for us.

He had pulled out his tooth brush and toothpaste and made a mess with the gel. He had also found a new pez dispenser that he had gotten as a Christmas gift, busted it open and proceeded to eat two entire packs of the little candy. I am hoping that the candy came first and then he thought it might be a good idea to brush his teeth, but I'm not holding my breath on that one! At some point he had crawled back into bed, looked at a book of his for awhile and then finally passed out in what I can only imagine was a crash from the sugar rush!

We know that this won't be the last of our little guy's shinanigans, but at least since he was asleep we were able to have a good laugh about this one without him thinking we approved of his activities! Zeke is constantly making us laugh with the things he does and we praise God for him. Even when life here can be overbearing God has given us this gift who lightens our moods as well as provides fun stories to tell!

A wonderful Christmas 2009!

This Christmas season really has been a good one for our family. Now that we have adjusted more to life here and have found so many new ways of doing our own traditions, despite the lack of available materials and ingredients, we are able to fully participate in the season. I would say our celebration really started last weekend with our Christmas production.


We have been working over the past month or so to prepare for putting on a big drama with music and sharing about the true meaning of Christmas. One of our interns did a ton of work planning out a drama that could easily be followed by non-native English speakers and putting together a cast and practice schedule. When the night of arrived it all came together beautifully. We had put up about 80 chairs thinking that we were dreaming big with all of the inviting we had done. As we began our play the people kept coming and coming! It was difficult to get a full count but we had atleast 110 people there, of which around 75% were first time visitors! It really was a blessing and we were even able to share our tradition of a candle light service with people from here. The funny thing was that instead of helping eachother light their candles, many pulled out their lighters and started lighting candles around them, so the glow started at the back of the room instead of the front! It was a wonderful evening and we look forward to seeing how God wants to use it.

For Christmas eve we decided to start a new tradition. Zeke was allowed to open the gifts in his stocking and Scott and I each opened a gift of our choosing. We also shared with Zeke a very simple version of the Christmas story and then enjoyed a glass of juice together. However, our juice was supposed to be some berry conconction, but it ended up that it tasted just like Dimatap! Same consistancy and all! It was a wonderful night, though, and it really primed Zeke for Christmas morning!

Christmas morning we woke early and had a skype call with Scott's family. Then the gift opening commenced... Zeke was so excited he could barely stop to look at all the toys he was oohing and awhing over! We were blessed by many this year who sent us all sorts of treats and comforts of home. Thank you to everyone out there who thought of us over this Christmas. We really do appreciate you! Zeke's excitement over his new toys has continued as he plays non-stop with them all day long and even babbles on about various toys as we are trying to get him to settle down for sleep!

We have 3 interns who are here for the year assisting our team with teaching at the center as well as with many other projects that come our way. Scott and I decided to invite them over to spend Christmas day with our family. Together we were able to have a wonderful brunch together (complete with donuts that I just learned how to make) and enjoyed a relaxing afternoon of watching the movie "A Christmas Story." It was a blessing to get to know these guys better and also to have their help in preparing for Christmas dinner.

Including Zeke we had 12 people around our table for Christmas dinner. Because we don't have access to what is often a tradition in American family Christmas dinners, instead of ham we made thanksgiving dinner all over again. Fortunately for me, I love turkey and all the fixings! We had quite an international group at our table as we had 4 different nationalities represented. The cool part of that is knowing that in Jesus we are all family. It really was a wonderful time and no one left with an empty stomach!

To top off a full Christmas day we attended an engagement party for some friend's of ours! It was wonderful to be able to celebrate their coming union together as well as an opportunity to sneak in a few more Christmas goodies before the normal rules of healthy eating were reinstated! We realized, however, that as ten'o'clock hit that Zeke had been pushed to his limit for the day and we headed home to all happily crash into bed. We really enjoy both the spiritual and cultural aspects of the Christmas holiday. It is always good to be reminded of the importance of family and traditions as well as to continually be refreshed of the sacrifice that God made for us all through His Son. We really are blessed to be a part of what God is doing around the world and know that these reminders can find us no matter where God asks us to go. We hope you all had a wonderful and meaningful Christmas as well! God bless!