I just packed my first box. Not a big step, but a significant one
nonetheless. For those who don’t know,
we are planning to leave this summer to head back to the states for one year. This transition comes with it a whole slew of
emotions. Many of them very mixed and
even contradictive! It’s strange to
think of leaving this place that has been our home for nearly the past 4 years;
the place where we have built a life, built friendships and raised our children
thus far. There is much that I will miss
during our year away.
A few things I won’t miss are: the rooster that lives on our
street. Having grown up in the city I am
not very familiar with the habits of these creatures. I was under the impression that they crow at
sun up. Either the guy on my street is
confused or maybe that is just a myth that they help wake you up at
sunrise. Well, the waking up part is
true anyhow, usually at two or three in the morning! And I am talking during the winter, not
summer when you may see a little sliver of light much earlier than other parts
of the year. The other night his pitch
matched that of my children when they call out and I thought I was needed, but
nope, once again it was the rooster! I
also won’t miss the driving here. I have
ranted about that before, so I won’t do so here again. Suffice it to say that it tests my
sanctification process! I also won’t
miss the random outings of electricity.
I think American culture is so productive not just because of work ethic
or necessity, but also because the tools and resources exist to get things done
in an efficient manner. These things don’t
exist as much here. I also won’t miss
being so far away from family. And I won’t
miss not having my kids know their grandparents and cousins very well. I am looking forward to everyone getting to
meet Ethan (many of our family haven’t yet) as well as our newest addition.
There are, however, many things that I will miss. For one, tile floors. When you are at the stage in life where you
have young kids who just can’t seem to keep their food on their plates or go an
entire day without spilling their full cups over, then you realize that tile
floors are a huge blessing. I don’t
sweat the messes because my kids are just being kids and the mess can be
cleaned up. I still don’t appreciate
Ethan indicated he is finished by throwing any remaining food across the room,
but at least I don’t worry about ruining carpet! Also, how people are towards my kids here is
something I will deeply miss. Every time
we leave the house my kids are loved on in very sweet and appropriate
ways. A stranger will help them into the
(free!) mechanical car at the grocery store, friends will stop by just to bring
them a toy car they thought they might like, students at our center will befriend
them for the evening and dote on them by letting them play games on their
mobile phones or eat 2/3rds of the piece of cake they bought. I love how special my kids feel here. I know in my own culture there are people
that would like to treat more kids in this manner, but we are a busy culture,
and one that has unfortunately, but necessarily needed to place heavy, firm
boundaries between our kids and strangers.
I am concerned a bit that I don’t even know how to do parenting in
American culture. I will have to relearn
how to do many things. A small thing I
will also miss is my shower. It is
common here to have a great big room, lined with tile, that have hot water
pipes running under the floor that heat the floors. When you get the hot water running and close
the door you are surrounded by warmth.
It is a lovely experience. I will
also miss being a part of all the exciting things that are happening right
now. We have been working towards a
number of goals these past few years and we are really beginning to get all the
bugs out and we have a growing momentum.
It is hard to step away at a time like this. More than all of this, we will miss the faces
of those we have grown to love over these past four years. We are grateful for technology, but skype and
email just doesn’t keep you fully connected.
So I share all of this to say that in this life we have chosen
there is constant transition; constant goodbyes; constantly giving things up
that matter to us. However, we are that
much more grateful for One who never changes and never leaves us. Zeke has been struggling to understand how
God can be in his heart as well as mine and still be one. I think my understanding of God’s greatness
and grandness has grown even more since moving here. He will be the one who helps grow my heart to
continually let people in even if I know I will have to say goodbye to
them. It’s the life we have chosen, but
it is a good and worthy one. These next
four months I will fight to focus on the here and now, and will do the same
when we are stateside. Ready or not U.S.
here we come!
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