a family update

As you can probably imagine, the reason I am not great at blogging often is because I am kept quite busy with two rambunctious little boys!  I wanted to take this blog and give you a more personal update on our family.

Zeke is 4 going on 14.  He is such a sponge in asking so many questions and learning new things all of the time.  I have actually stopped simplifying explanations for him so much because he is understanding SO much!  His questions range from things about the skeletal structure and muscles, to spiritual questions about sin and who God is.  He goes to a preschool program 3 days a week where he is learning his numbers and letters.  I have discovered through him learning to write his name that we have certainly developed his large motor skills, but the fine motor skills need some work!  Yes, I know he's only 4, but I forget sometimes!  He still enjoys cars, trucks, tanks...well, basically anything that moves!  He and his daddy love doing internet searches on super cars and talking about how each car is unique.  He has several friends from school that he loves to play with and comes home from school each day with tons of stories of adventures had on the playground.  At our language center our students love to sit and talk with him because his language skills are so good that he actually helps them out with language practice!  It is such a joy for us to watch him interact with local people and finding unique ways to connect.

Ethan is a really fun little guy who loves to be silly and laugh all the time.  He is very affectionate and loves to sit and cuddle with Scott and I.  He has tried to cuddle with his brother, but that hasn't worked out as he hoped!  He seems to be very sensitive to those around him and is quick to apologize when he accidentally hurts someone.  In the last month or so his language skills have boomed.  About a month ago we noticed he was way more willing to mimic us and then a couple of weeks ago he started suddenly using tons more words on his own initiative.  His favorite method of communication is still to grab us by the hand and bring us to the thing he is trying to show us or wants us to get for him.  One of my favorite things with him is when we are playing around and tickling him and try to stop and he looks at us as and says "more, more!"  A funny characteristic with him is that he is very slow to wake up.  I usually push his bedroom door open in the mornings to rouse him, but he enjoys laying still for awhile and just watching life from his crib until he finally stands up and tells us "up."  It makes me wonder often about what the teen years are going to look like with him!  He almost always has a car in his hands and loves also to play with anything his brother has.  He's quite the risk taker in watching for his brother to look away and then promptly running away with the toy that Zeke previously had!

Our kids are such a joy in our lives and we try and remember how these times while they are young, although tough and often exhausting, are fleeting.  We are also excited to be awaiting our newest addition, baby #3, coming this July.  This little one will be born in the states as we come back for a time of rest and reconnection.  Scott and I are also doing well.  We have had quite a bit of sickness rip through our home in the last 2 months, but are happy to all currently be healthy!  I am doing my best to balance life and rest as my body works doubly hard to support the growing person inside of me.  We are looking forward to our time in the states next year, but try hard to stay focused on where God has us right now.  It will definitely be hard to leave our teammates and friends behind for an entire year, but as we have learned, this is a life full of transition and goodbyes.  We trust in God for our strength through it all.  So our 2012 is shaping up well so far with some exciting things already happening and more to come through the spring.  God is teaching us so much about ourselves and about Him, and we are so grateful to be on this journey:-)

A Christmas Extravaganza

We have had some exciting times these last few weeks.  We have had ample opportunity to think on, reflect and share our reasons for celebrating Christmas!  We love being able to share so much of who we are with our friends.  This really serves to deepen our relationships here.  It also helps our friends be able to understand us better.  Basically it is an awesome thing all around!

We have been changing up our coffee shop nights at our language center this past semester.  In the past we have had open conversation nights where we play games, sip coffee and allow our students to practice their English.  However, we were looking for something to spice things up and increase the educational opportunities this fall by adding a bit more structure and preparation to the time.  What we came up with were nights where we had Q&A with your teacher, a period of time where you rotate between games or planned conversations, and then ended the night with some open conversation time and enjoyed some cake and coffee.  We also hosted our very first American culture night!  It was a blast teaching our students about American sports, dance, slang, pop culture and history.  In that same vein we used our Christmas party to impart some wisdom as well.  Scott did a wonderful presentation on the cultural and faith-based parts of Christmas.  Our students really liked it and came away with a better understanding while also learning how to string popcorn for our center tree!  The thing is here, people believe that Christmas and New Years are the same thing.  Over these past four years we have worked with our friends to differentiate between the two.  This has worked well with those close to us…so well that we got a bunch of calls on the 25^th wishing us a merry Christmas!  It was wonderful to have that display of care for us and showing that they remember!

 

We also hosted our traditional Christmas drama with our international fellowship.  We invited all of our friends and had an amazing 160 people show up this year.  A wonderful group from Wyoming came out and put on a drama for us depicting the Christmas story through the remembrances of an elderly Mary.  We enjoyed conversation and Christmas cookies together afterwards.  One family who is in the baking business brought a HUGE cake in the shape of a cross to share with us!  It was a wonderful and elaborate surprise!

 

 

The other opportunity we took advantage of was having our ladies together again at our center to celebrate the season.  Some friends from New Jersey blessed us with a suitcase full of special treats, gifts, decorations and an ornament craft.  It was a smaller group that was able to come, but it made for a very intimate event.  We are really blessed to be able to do life together with our friends here and share our time, culture and sacred beliefs.  We ended the afternoon with one of our interns teaching us a really fun dance!

 

 

We hope that your holiday was spent in a meaningful way and that the things God is teaching you will continue to grown and deepen as we begin a new year.  We are very thankful that God has us where He does and are grateful to serve among these people.  We are also thankful to all of YOU who support us across the many miles and think of us especially this time of year!  Coming next…a family update.  Stay tuned!

On the road...

There are many things that we have had to adjust to since moving overseas.  The obvious things are learning a new culture, learning to try new things and developing a new language.  There are other things you may not think about that one has to adjust to when living in a new country and culture.  One of these things is driving.

There are many times that I am shocked back into the reality of where I live.  Sometimes it is when I see my neighbors unloading live chickens from the trunk of a taxi; other times it is when I order the same thing at the same restaurant and somehow it turns out different every time; it is also when I have a clear view of the incredible mountains that surround our city.  However, I think I am most brought back to reality when driving here.  There are many examples of driving etiquette here that are vastly different than what I have known from my own culture.  Fortunately, my city isn’t as populated as other cities in the middle east so it could be crazier, but driving here is a test of trusting God every single time.

The general rule is that you are responsible for what happens in front of you, therefore those behind you are responsible to take care of what you do that might affect them.  However, one oversight to this rule is who is watching next to them?  Most commonly the answer is no one, as evidenced by a man trying to force his way into our lane while knocking his rear view mirror into the side of the car!  Also, speaking of lanes, there are painted street lines on many streets.  These are, however, mere suggestions.  This means that when traffic is craziest a two-lane road can be converted into three or even four lanes.  These lanes may even take over oncoming traffic lanes if one direction seems to dominate the need.

One of the relics of the previous government is the traffic flow plan.  Unless you are on narrow neighborhood roads you can’t turn left.  While this does keep traffic moving pretty good, you have to drive until you find a U-turn, then double back and turn right.  On our newer roads there is an extra lane notched into the  median, but people often stay in the main lanes, passing the cars waiting in the U-turn lane, then cut over to the U-turn itself, turning two or three cars wide in a place that was meant for one car!  

Our city is trying to make crossing these streets easier for pedestrians by installing foot bridges.  It’s so frustrating to have to stop for people as they cross the street within a stone’s throw of the new bridges!  The other day we were on a busy road taking the boys to school when we saw a man standing in the middle of our lane trying to cross! Had he hustled he would have been able to cross, but he hesitated.  We veered left to go around him, but by that time he had decided to try to cross our lane.  All the while slamming on the brakes, we cut back right, but he had decided to try to dash back to the sidewalk!  This happened a few times before he actually ended up back on the sidewalk.  He waved his arms at us in disgust as we finally passed him.  My lingering question was why was he in the middle of the lane when there was a bridge not 200 feet beyond him?!?  You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

Suffice it to say that defensive driving takes on a whole new meaning here.  The general attitude is “me first.”  Believe it or not, though, you do get used to it.  When people come to visit us I always tell them the key to not having a heart attack while riding with us is simply to trust. In fact,that is sort of the motto of doing life here!  However, easier said than done!

Thanksgiving 2011

One thing that I have found to be important in adjusting to life overseas is to keep alive your own cultural traditions. This can require creativity and awareness as many products that you might normally need are not available and when no one else around you is participating in the same traditions as you. One big tradition that we continue while we are here is celebrating thanksgiving.

These past two years a big group of us have gotten together at a community center about an hour from our home city. It is a fantastic location because there is plenty of space, it is very relaxing and there are multiple ovens for preparing a thanksgiving feast. This year we were a group of about 30. We were from all different lines of work and organizations, but brought together by our common culture and friendships. We had an awesome time.

We started the day with a “turkey trot” 5K run! Our hosts had mapped out the whole thing on a country road a little ways from the community center. It was beautiful scenery and there was a car following at the back as well as one at the front making the finish line. I walked with my boys and a friend (finished about half of it before the others were complete) and the rest of the group, with Scott, ran the entire thing. We were surrounded by beautiful mountains, lots of twists and turns in the road and I’m sure some more than curious passer-byers! After this everyone started in on their various assignments to bring the big meal together. Somehow we managed to bring it all together to have every holiday favorite! Pretty much everything has to be made from complete scratch and we have to learn to use lots of substitutes, but the result was worth it!

Turkey Trot 5K complete!

Ethan stretching with Stacy after the run

Ethan enjoying the pie making

The rest of the day was spent having good conversations, playing games and just relaxing.  We decided to stay the night this year, along with a few others, and enjoyed cinnamon rolls and eggs together in the morning.  Overall it was a fantastic time!  Zeke had to end his time with a second trip to the dentist, but once again he braved it like a champ.

We are so grateful for our friends and family here.  These are the things that make a home.  It has nothing to do with geographic location, but everything to do with being where God has you to be, building a network of relationships and finding contentment amidst a world that is vastly different than any you’ve known before.  I am thankful that my family and I have found that here.  Hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving!

another tradition born

What happened to the fall???

The weather here turned cold quicker than it usually does.  It was a fast enough change that I started the process of changing regular sheets to flannel sheets, and exchanging summer wardrobes for winter ones in a rushed fashion.  Usually I take it a step at time, but one day of out with the old and accepting the new, colder version was what I got this year.  We also had another thing happen sooner than we had anticipated and that was changing up Zeke’s bedroom furniture. 

The other day he was standing on his bed when he decided he would jump up and land on his bottom on the mattress.  Now, I should clarify that we got our kids a small, indoor trampoline in order to discourage jumping on the bed.  Zeke generally complies with this.  However, one jump was all it took and he cracked the board under his mattress right in half!  We had planned on moving our guest room furniture (2 twin beds and a closet) upstairs for the boys sometime this winter when Ethan would be nearing the transition time from crib to big boy bed, but after a week of Zeke sleeping on his mattress on the floor we decided to take the plunge and do the big job of moving the furniture from the first floor to the second.  The biggest part of this process is taking apart the big closets and then reassembling them.  Take into consideration the fact that in addition to keeping track of what screw goes where and the direction of each board that the closets are made of very cheap materials and you have a recipe for a complicated process.  However, we accomplished our goal and their room looks great…although very grown up!  I have gotten used to tiny, little boy furniture and now it seems the furniture is getting bigger, along with the boys!  Both Zeke and Ethan are growing and changing right before our very eyes!  Is it weird to be nostalgic over the years when their little while they are still little??? J  It is my attempt at enjoying these moments while I have them.  I even got to get some good cuddles in with Ethan last night when he was having trouble falling asleep and that was good for this mama’s heart.

We just finished a week of celebration here.  It was the time for the feast of sacrifice.  This time is commemorating the story of God calling Abraham to sacrifice his son.  The story here goes a little differently than it states in the Bible, but what it all boils down to is friends and family visiting one another and neighbors bringing over bags of meat to share from their family’s sacrifice.  We had a great week.  Usually we maximize every day of the week, visiting every single person we know.  However, this time we chose a few special people and kept it more simple due to the fact that we have been running a non-stop schedule all fall long and we were in desperate need of some down time.  One fun thing for us was that we had more visitors than we usually do.  Generally our very closest friends might come and see us at our own home since it isn’t our holiday, but this year we had several friends and some students from the center come and see us.  Its nice to be able to serve people in our own home and celebrate with them.  

Tonight classes start back up at the center and we begin our last big push until we break for Christmas.  Something that God has been teaching us in the midst of all of this busyness is the need for a Sabbath day.  What gets us through most weeks is knowing that there is one day that we choose to prioritize rest.  Some weeks that day doesn’t happen and we generally pay for it!  However, I believe that God has been blessing our family through prioritizing His commandment to us to rest one day every week.  It also helps you to find energy you didn’t know you had to work hard during the rest of the week when you know you have a day off to look forward to.  Anyhow, just something to think about in this busy world of ours.  It takes intentionality and commitment to make it happen, but the truth is that it is God’s design for us to rest  and I am happy to be at a time in my life when stress is probably near  maximum, yet I can feel healthy and rested because He is breathing new life into me everyday!

a peek at a different system

Scott here, putting in my 2 cents. Government. Geopolitics. Political machines. The clincher—bureaucracy. What varied reactions people have when they hear these terms! For a small number of us a profound excitement bubbles up from within and we can barely contain ourselves. For others there is a strong sense of repulsion. I don’t know where you fit in, but I’m somewhere in the middle. I love discussing politics, as long as the other guy can laugh about it in the end.

Most of us, even government employees, regard bureaucracy as a necessary evil. The greater the system, the more resource can be wasted. This is the trade off for not having the opposite: oligarchy. Even the greatest monarch still needs a political machine to physically administrate his domain.

Enough political theory! One of the keys to international work is to remember most things aren’t wrong, just different. Otherwise you get cynical and short-tempered. Being our team leader here has given me lots of chances to see the great political machine of this country at work. Below is a series of insights—not criticisms—into our local government, things that both bring joy and frustration. In the end, it all works and the country moves forward.

1. Every rule has an exception, but once a decision is made it won’t be changed. One of our first days in country 3 years ago, you may remember I was dropped off, with no language or help, at our realtor’s shop. It’s a small hole-in-the-wall place with a small bench which was crowded with men. Fortunately, one of the realtor’s helpers was waiting for me and brought me to a police station. I had no idea at the time what was going on—another blessing of moving to a new country. He brought me to a police station to register our new home with security forces. Looking back it was a good thing, something I have done several times since. I was interviewed briefly, but the policeman noticed I hadn’t received my visa yet. That was it, end of discussion. I would not be getting my registration that day. I returned to our then team leaders’ home to find out they got their registration without visas. We went back together this time to argue the point (since you can’t get the lease without this registration, and you can’t get keys without the lease!). The policeman realized his duplicity, but since he had already told me “no” he would not lose face by changing his mind. After getting my visa and 4 visits later, I got that registration and a new police friend who would do anything for me now, including making exceptions.

2. Few people know the full proper process for getting things done. “It takes a village” to get things done. We are in the midst of searching for land for a unique project here. A year and a half ago a plot was found, but no one knew what it would take to build there. Step by step we learned from the lawyer that the city had to rezone the land. He didn’t know exactly how to get that done, and once he found out, it was caught up in serious red tape. The architect was ready to move, but didn’t know about the zoning. The realtor who would have sold us the land didn’t know we would lose a full meter on every side because of a city ordinance. Since that time we have gotten a promise of a land grant from the government. But, it has been 7 months of going in and out of offices with the lawyer, asking for updates, when this, why that, where this. No one is quite sure what to do with us—we’re foreigners in new territory!

3. Connections matter. This is true in the States too. Knowing someone higher up is the only way to change a decision. Most people are so acutely aware of this that they use their connections before even starting proper channels. We generally avoid using influential relationships for a number of reasons, but it does help when a friend has a relative that works in a particular office.

4. Being friendly helps. In some cultures you get your way by showing an angry edge. Here that is not true. One late night a teammate and I went to the airport to pick up some luggage that arrived the day after its owner. The luggage was locked away somewhere and the workers didn’t want to go get it at that hour of night. Then we did the classic good cop-bad cop. My friend was all over the people and I was apologizing for his behavior and begging for help. It worked! We got the luggage. Another time I was sitting with the city planner regarding the land grant. He wasn’t helpful at all until I complimented his English and recommended he come take a class with us.

5. Bureaucracy saves the fall man. It’s frustrating to walk into American DMV offices and wait for an hour for a license plate. If that bugs you, you would literally rip your hair out here. The DMV is one office for over 1,000,000 people in the province. Instead of 300 employees with the same authority to help just about any problem, there are thousands who sit in cramped offices that specialize in one detail of any given process. We hired a guy to put our car in his name, but even still it was a pain when we had to show up only to pick up the plates. It took 2 hours! The director of the DMV really has the authority. He must personally sign off on all but basic issues. Employees have no authority and rely on the director to make nearly all decisions. While numbing critical thinking and personal productivity, this helps the average clerk keep a low profile and avoid getting in trouble for controversial decisions in a job that he desperately needs.

6. Providing work. A basic tenet of American ideals is that the government exists to serve the people above all. However, if you ask the 2.6 million or so federal employees, I’m sure they would be quick to add that that service provides a nice job. That figure doesn’t even take into account other government workers, like teachers, emergency workers, or state and city officials. I don’t know what the rate is here, but certainly the widespread belief that the government is responsible to find jobs for the tens of thousands of college grads every year has taken priority over quality service to the people. No one would admit that outright, but when push comes to shove and you are under-qualified it is certainly true. This has led to an enormous bureaucracy, but one that provides crucial employment. Because of the non-diversified economy here, people depend on these low-paying but steady jobs.

There you go! Lessons learned along the way, for better or for worse, make this fascinating place tick!