shaken expectations

I think that in many ways we have become very comfortable in our current context. We still have tons to learn, and years to go in mastering this language, but overall we really do feel at home. However, there are definitely days where we feel like we are back at square one all over again. It’s a funny feeling to be caught off-guard when you feel like you know what to expect, but then you have a whole new experience altogether. This was our experience when visiting a family the other day.

We have had the opportunity to get to know a mother and her daughter through a connection we have in the states. These two women have been such a blessing to us in serving us generously through their hospitality. They are not a family of great means, yet they go out of their way to make sure we have a nice meal, clean water and a comfortable experience with them. We have become fairly comfortable with these two, having even spent time with and gotten to know some of their extended family. So, the other day when we went to visit them and bring them some pictures of family they have in the U.S. we felt fairly confident in what to expect.

In many ways the visit was absolutely normal: conversation, tea, a meal and a deepening of our relationship. All of this happened. However, here are the things that caught us by surprise. First, generally a visit with a meal is, on average, about 3 hours long. This day was an unexpected 5 hours, and probably would have been at least another hour if we had not insisted on going. Also, we had apparently obligated them to serve us a meal. The background on this was that we had tried to visit them the week before, calling the day of so that they would not feel like they had to feed us. However, they weren’t at home that day and asked us to come visit them the following Friday. We still didn’t want them to trouble themselves with cooking for us, so that following Friday we called them just before we hoped to go over and visit. We were afraid, though, that since they had had a week knowing we would be coming that they would insist we come for a meal. When Scott called over, sure enough, they asked us if Yaprax was okay (a meal made with grape leaves wrapped around a rice mixture). We agreed, although we felt bad, but this is the way it goes sometimes.

When we arrived they hadn’t hardly even started the meal, and this is a fairly time intensive dish. In addition, the mother kept telling us how much work it was and how her back and legs hurt because of it. Now, even when you are troubled by something, people do not tell their guests how much work something is. At first we thought maybe this was a good thing that she felt comfortable telling us that we had troubled her. However, as time went on we realized that we had just simply put her out. We felt awful, but even now don’t know exactly how we could have avoided it. This was also what made the visit so long because even though we had come around 11am we didn’t eat until 2! The boys were getting a little antsy over the time and I wasn’t feeling very well that day. At one point the mom came over and started to rub my back and shoulders because I wasn’t feeling well, which was really sweet, but I felt even worse about putting her out. Because the general order and time frame for the visit was off, we felt off kilter the entire time. We did finally make our escape at the end and chalked the whole thing up to a learning experience.

The people here give so much in serving others and making their guests feel welcome and special. I think because we are foreigners they sometimes give even more, even though its done sacrificially. Its often times humbling to be given so much. People are always giving Zeke toys and gifts, and bringing us food and treats. These are such a beautiful people we live among. It is a strong reminder to us that we are called to live generously, and give of the many blessings that we have received. This is not always easy, but we start each day new and try to do better in loving others and honoring God in everything we do.

Is this for real???

Sometimes I am hit by how surreal it is that we are living in this place. I think it hits me most when I am driving by myself. Picture this scene: the roads are dusty and dirty. In the distance, most days, you can just barely see the mountains. There are faded lines painted on the road, but nobody heeds them. People are whipping around each other with no regard for speed or safety. Often, when you turn, people make two or even three turn-lanes in an effort to all make a u-turn. There is construction everywhere….on houses, businesses and all over the streets. You hear honking…lots of honking. Pedestrians cross at will, with little to no regard for the cars come at them full-speed. Then there are the little motorcycles with carts attached that are going at maybe half the speed of the traffic around them. Oh, and don’t forget to add in to all of this craziness all of the cars that are parked or sit idling along the side of every major road. Let me just say it has taken some time to adjust to driving here, as well as life in general.

I can sometimes focus so much on getting through each day that I forget how unique my life is compared to my friends and family at home. This life is certainly not how I ever would have pictured. Its hard to imagine so much change until you step out in faith and trust God to take care of all of the details. I was reading in James yesterday about how faith without works is dead. I’ve always understood this to mean that you need to be serving others and living a life of generosity. However, when I was reading it again this time I noted the two examples of “works” that were given: the first is of Abraham offering Isaac on the altar of sacrifice, and the other was of Rahab helping the spies escape. Both of these were said to be works of faith. What hit me is that more than serving others is that the work of faith is putting our faith in action. Stepping out in faith and trusting God. If we never test our faith then do we really, truly have faith? I think this may be the more difficult side of “works” because many people seek to help those in need from time to time, but to walk daily, putting your life, decisions, finances, children, etc.. into God’s hands and stepping out even when we don’t know where that journey will lead us…THAT is faith. It is only through that faith that I can accept this surreal life and find joy in all that it brings.

a little nostalgia...

Sometimes when I think back about how much we have experienced and grown over these past weeks and months, I have a hard time believing that its only been two years since we left the states. We have now been living here, in this culture -- day in and day out in a second language—for over two years now! In just two years we have moved overseas, lived in two different houses, had a second child, learned a second language, learned how to live a “normal” life here AND managed to stay sane!

However, the past has passed, and now the future is coming at us full force! Classes started back up at the center tonight for our 3rd consecutive fall term of courses. It appears we are setting record numbers in enrollment, seeing many returning students plus referrals from former students. We are excited to get to know these new students and to see who we can build deeper, more meaningful friendships with. Its also really fun now that we are out of formal language study since we are being able to set our own schedule more, albeit busier, but we are in the phase where we are picking more of our activities and narrowing down where we invest our larger portions of time.

We continue to watch and wait and see what God wants to do in our lives. Continue on this journey with us as we enter into this new phase and see what the future holds!

Eid

We just finished a great week with our friends here. Ramadan has ended, and what follows are three days of celebration called Eid. This is a fun time because everyone is in a good mood and wants to visit you and be visited by you! Scott and I did it a little differently this year in splitting up our time a bit. I went with our new colleague, Stacy, to visit some female friends of mine on two different mornings and then Scott spent the afternoon visiting some of his guy friends with our intern, DJ. This worked great because Zeke could come with either one of us for visits while Ethan stayed home and napped. We all went to one of our students’ homes for a meal one of the days.

We are realizing that we are getting more and more accustomed to cultural traditions and what is expected of us. This is the third Eid we have been through here and we look more forward to it because we are acting in less and less awkward ways! I however made one mistake at a friend’s house. I got confused because they served 3 rounds of different drinks (usually there are only 2 at most houses) and then a long period of time afterwards. We had more visits we had to make so I thought we could excuse ourselves at that time. Apparently I was wrong, though, and had tried to go too soon. My friend’s mother put her hand on my shoulder and physically sat me back down. Then they brought some cookies out for us. However, by this time now I was all thrown off and had no idea when it was okay to go. Fortunately, some of their relatives had come to visit at about the same time we did, so when they got up to go we were able to make our exit as well.

Another fun thing that comes out only during holidays are these crazy swings that hold huge groups of kids. They look so crazy and dangerous! They pile kids on these big metal contraptions that look like those pirate ship rides at theme parks and then swing it back and forth for long periods of time. They also have donkey and four wheeler rides. Zeke so badly wanted to ride on the swing, but I just couldn’t bring myself to allow it. I’m sure a couple more years of this and maybe I’ll be on that swing myself right along with Zeke! We continue to strive to be in a position of teachability, even as our experiences and knowledge of the culture grows. Even if we spend a lifetime here I don’t think we’ll completely run out of new things to learn!

R&R

Each year we get an opportunity to come together with some of our regional colleagues for a time of rest. We do some business, we have someone that comes and shares with us and we get some much needed spiritual and physical refreshment. This year our group met up in Egypt! However, we try to tag some vacation on to this time of year as well. This year we chose to go visit some good friends of ours from college who are now serving in France!


We had a layover in Jordan for two days and then continued on to France. We had an early morning flight, but the boys did really well with it all. Fortunately there was very little time difference so once we rested up from our travel we were able to get right into enjoying our time with our friends. Our friends have four kids, one of which was a boy just a little older than Zeke. The two boys have similar personalities in being real "boy" boys and Zeke was absolutely thrilled to have someone he could wrestle with. He has often tried to wrestle with other kids here to either find that they ignore him or he upsets them! It was a joy to my heart to see him be able to use his energy in a way that was super fun for him and not harmful to the other child!
We did some touring around (Scott and his buddy took the boys up to Normandy to visit the battle sites), but mostly we took it easy, saw parts of the city and just relaxed. As those of you with young kids know (and those of you who remember back to those days), vacation isn't exactly restful, especially when you all are sharing one room! However, I was so grateful that we didn't plan too much into this trip and didn't feel like we had to go from one thing to another. Our friends put us up very comfortably and we all were able to just have a good time. Some would consider it a travesty that we were in France and didn't see all the sites, but this was exactly what we needed for our family at this time. I do have to say one thing about our experience: the food in France is incredible! Stuff that many Americans probably wouldn't eat if given a description of it before-hand, we tried and found to be delicious! Our friends took us out to one restaurant where they served us four-courses of food....each one good enough to lick your plate clean (although we did somehow refrain from doing so)!


The second half of our time was spent in Egypt. We got to stay at a great hotel where we were able to swim and relax. Ethan absolutely loved being in the water! Zeke is still somewhat hesitant, but overall enjoyed it. We were very blessed to have a group come out from Washington who invested in our kids for the week. It made my heart feel so full to see Zeke interacting with so many other kids, learning new songs, having new experiences, and most of all having others invest in his growing faith.

Overall we came home feeling ready to get back into life here. Its amazing sometimes how you don't feel how heavy a burden you are trying to carry until you get out of your context and can look back. We continue to try and remind ourselves that we have One who wants to carry that burden for us, and hopefully as we enter into a busy fall we will remember to cast those burdens down and to depend on the Lord's strength rather than our own! For those of you that keep up with our blogs regularly, my goal is to try and post a blog at least every two weeks...most likely on Mondays. So stay tuned!

the dog days of summer

As the final days of summer are passing and the fall beginning we realize that we have had a number of new experiences over the past few months. We wanted to share a few of these with you before so much time passes that we forget they even happened!

Our little guy, Ethan, started on real foods this summer. From 4 to 6 months he ate rice cereal, which he did amazing with from day one! I think it helps that mom knew a bit more about how to give a kid a fighting chance when they are first learning to eat, but I was pretty impressed with his overall ability to jump right into solids! This past month we started him on his veggies, and just a few mornings ago tried his first fruit.....pears. Now he refuses plain cereal anymore...I guess once you've tasted the good stuff who can blame him!

We have had some very long, hot days. At times all we could do was just sit as still as possible. You can imagine how hot it was when you realize that Scott had a toddler boy sitting completely still! We are thankful that the electricity has been better than the summer we first arrived, although it had its challenges this summer as well! At least we get some bragging rights for having made it through each day of 110+ degree temps! In fact it was so hot that Scott's croc sandals curled up and melted! We had no idea that such a thing was even possible, but for those that endure this sort of weather, don't leave your sandals outside!

We also were able to have some fun personal experiences. We had a wonderful fourth of July at a park outside of the city. We enjoyed hamburgers, potato salad and watermelon just as though we were back in the US with all of you! Zeke also got to go to his first movie in the theater. He saw Toy Story 3 and LOVED it! He was so cute sitting in that big old chair with his little tub of popcorn. The theater staff were even kind enough not to charge him for a ticket (I love this culture:-)). Now he asks us all the time when we are going to go see his "feater movie"
We also were very excited to finish our long English course that we did in partnership with a new university starting here. Although tiring, it was a great experience for us and we enjoyed working with high school students once again. The picture below is from our graduation day.


Overall it was a great summer. We are looking forward to a great fall that is ahead of us and are anxious to see what God wants to do in our lives next. This week ends the month of fasting for Ramadan and is followed by a week that is full of visits, fun and lots of food! It is a great time of celebration and we are looking forward to connecting with friends we haven't seen for awhile. Following that time things will get rolling at our center as well, so more to come!

Just another day...

There are things that we see and experience on a daily basis, living in a different country, that are quite different from what we grew up with. Over time we stop noticing the differences because what is here becomes normal to us. We lose perspective on what is “our culture” versus “their culture,” and it becomes sort of a hybrid of culture in our life. I think this is a healthy place to be. I don’t think we could hope to truly contextualize if we are always thinking about how different our surroundings are. Plus, I think our local friends must get tired of hearing “well, in America we…”

However, Scott and I have recently been hit with a few differences of our life here that often make us laugh and thought that you might enjoy learning about them. First, as I’ve mentioned previously, Scott and I are both teaching for a university that is just getting started in our city as an opportunity to invest in the growing community around us. In doing so, we have encountered a little different environment than we experience in our own language center. One thing that amused me was the first time I used the rest room in the university office. I was pleased to discover that it was a “western” style bathroom, opposed to the “eastern” squattie potty that is so commonly used here. However, upon closer examination I found that there wasn’t any supplied toilet paper. This is not uncommon, so those of us that this affects tend to carry tp on us or in our bags. After I was finished I went to the other side of the bathroom to wash my hands and saw a roll of toilet paper…hung on the wall, on a toilet paper dispenser, intended to be used for drying your hands! I wonder sometimes what other uses people find for tp in this country! Another thing that commonly happens here is the electricity going on and off. This is a also known to happen during our class periods, and the students don’t even miss a beat! They just keep going with whatever they are doing, just as though the room wasn’t mostly hidden in shadows. However, something that happened the other day in my class really made me sit back and acknowledge a difference in our cultures.

We were discussing health and taking care of our bodies. One of my female students was expressing her views as a vegetarian, and how she thought meat was so bad for your body (this is not a common view here since they LOVE meat). However, one of my male students was just flabbergasted that she didn’t eat meat, and further inquired of her “if you eat so healthy, why is it that you are still so big (fat)?” I thought since this was a teenage girl he was talking to that I would have to intervene before she got too upset. However, she simply went on to explain to him about the genetic makeup of her family and how that contributed to her own size! Discussing one’s appearance and especially body types is not at all taboo here. Even to acknowledge that someone is large isn’t meant as an insult, but as a statement of fact! I found this especially funny since teenagers tend to be exceptionally sensitive about their appearance and yet this conversation could happen between two people of opposite genders without any incident! I think we may have something to learn from this since not acknowledging what is obvious can be rather awkward at times!

Another observation I made recently was in our neighborhood. When it comes to construction projects here, no one receives any warning. They just show up one day with all of their equipment and start pounding away. This occurred this last week with a project to replace some water lines. Unfortunately for us, those water lines run right in front of our house. So three days ago several men showed up with some large machinery and shovels to tear up the cement in front our house and all down both directions of our street. What they left us with was an approximately 3 foot wide and 4 foot deep trench! They also completely demolished our stairs in the front. This wouldn’t necessarily be all that big of a deal, except that we have nothing that we can use to bridge the gap and we are having to transport our children, groceries and ourselves across this thing without any idea of when it will be filled back in. When we asked them the first day when it would be finished they had told us today, but it is mid afternoon and I have yet to see any workmen. One nice thing that first day was when I walked outside and discovered the ditch I asked them what I should do, and their answer was to drive their bobcat over, put the bucket down over the hole and let me step across. Not bad as far as service goes, but I have had to cross many more times since then without their assistance!

My final story is another thing I witnessed on my street. While Scott and I were watching them demolish our front stairs, I looked over and saw one of my neighbors pull up in a taxi. I assumed she had been out shopping since her and the driver got out and popped the trunk open. However, instead of seeing bags of groceries I saw chickens! LIVE chickens! I’m sure the plan was to take them inside and slaughter them so they could have their fresh chicken dinner, but it amused me to see them all sitting in the trunk awaiting their fate, just like their pre-slaughtered frozen friends!

We will keep trying to keep “fresh eyes” so we can give you a picture of our world. So much has become familiar to us, and the new things can be sometimes frustrating, but we strive to see humor all around us and enjoy where God has us at this time. The boys are doing great and enjoying the summer. They don’t seem to mind being sweaty and smelly in this heat. Zeke only minds that he can’t go down the slides at the park because he would burn his little legs! So, we are getting creative with our family fun activities. The other week we even did a family movie night and watched Shrek 3. Zeke really enjoys the Pixar movies and we are able to enjoy them as well. We are now half way through our English course and looking forward to some fun times with friends at the end of the summer. We have had a few dusty days and one huge dust storm, but have learned over time how to deal with these things. More to come soon!

(pictured below was a huge dust storm that lasted several hours...this isn't the sepia camera feature, it really looked like this!)